Welcome to a new game. Since, most of you have come to HOPS, you will know I am interested in Motorcars. Mostly those from the UK. But how many of you know your Motorcars? The vast majority of Motorcars have been given names by their builders. For example, we have all hear of the Austin Mini or the Ford Mustang. With this in mind, your answers will be gotten from hints, something like Jeopardy. The builder is Ford. The hint. Someone who takes care of a national park. The answer, Ranger. This should be easy? There will be a prize to the first person to answer all the hints. It will be a cash prize. So much at stake? So lets start.

Austin, a Abbey in England.
Plymouth, a hotel in France.
AMC, most countries have one.
Ford, type of knot.
Dodge, Woody plays one.
Audi, smart as a.
Hillman, some boys are.
Daimler, territory gained.
Austin Healey, just add rye.
Sunbeam, very sharp.
Morris, hard to get in a bar.
Plymouth, name of butler on TV.
Hillman, cheeky.
Chevrolet, good place for a Grand Prix
Pontiac, good place to go fast.
Mercury, your mother may be one.
Triumph, it won the war.
MG, there is a north and a south.
Ford, bad movie.
Humber, bird of prey.
Vauxhall, what a journey.
Austin, what a country.
Oldsmobile, keys on a piano.
Buick, something the Queen is.
Austin, a school in England.
Chervrolet, a sudden change.

Have fun and win cash.

TIC

Old man look at my slice
It’s a lot like yours was

Old man look at my slice
It’s a lot like yours was

Sixty four and I only played four
Rolling home to you

Oh my, where’s the cup, look at my luck
It sure does suck
Rolling home to you

Sand lost, such a cost
Still sauced
Like a ball that will get lost
Rolling home to you

Old man look at my slice
It’s a lot like yours was
I need someone to help me the whole day through
Look at my grip
And you can see it’s true

Surprise, look at my balls
Run around the same old green
Means a lot to me
Cause I got to pee

I have always been last
Look at the squirrels run past
Like the game will not last
Rolling home to you

Old man look at my slice
It’s a lot like yours was
I need a brand new putter
One that does not mutter

Old man look at my slice
It’s a lot like yours was

You will need the following:

Heat
Pot
Spoon
Butter
Ketchup
Marconi
Three eggs
Microwave
Water
Bowl
Drain thing
Pepper

After placing pot on the heat add water, 7/8 to the top. When water wants to boil, add, macaroni. Four cups will due. Stir with spoon, making sure macaroni is free of marriage. In the mean time, break three eggs into a bowl. Stir with spoon until eggs enjoy each other. Place the bowl of eggs into a microwave for four minutes and thirteen seconds. As the eggs are enjoying each other company in the microwave, drain the macaroni into the drain thing. Return the pot back to the heat, but make sure the heat is resting in peace. Add butter and ketchup to the pot, as much as you thing is right. Three spoons of butter and a large swallow of ketchup. make that four large swallows of ketchup. Cook butter and ketchup until it looks like you made soup. Add macaroni and stir with spoon. Once again stir. Now you have soup with macaroni. Add the voice of the eggs coming from the microwave. Using the spoon, remove the eggs from the bowl, who so much want to join this adventure. Stir in the eggs. After you have stir in the eggs with anger, stand back. Look for the pepper. Add all you have. Wait!! Save 1/2 for next time. Now stand back and look. Yes, you have created a dish to be enjoyed by all there. A drink to go with this masterpiece? Why, anything you enjoy before you start making this dish. Enjoy as much as you can. For if the dish turns on poor, you will still enjoy. Because as we all know, of those who drink first and eat later, it always taste good.

And I do know.

I did not call

On the way to the mall

To buy you a ball

One that was small

Or one that was tall

But ran into a wall

I began to fall

It was in the hall

It was not from the brawl

I did not have it all

Began to crawl

Shoud have worn a shaul

I shall give it my all

In it for the longhaul

Wish to recall

Happy Birthday ( fill in name )

What a wonderful word. Each and every day the word shit is used as an comparison to something. That something may be a feeling, a taste, a sound, a condition, a thought, an outlook. Yes this word shit is very often used instead of the correct word or phrase that should be used. Maybe not the correct word, but something other than the word shit. A number of weeks ago, I made mention to someone about feeling like shit. This is the wrong word. Better, would be ” under the weather ” or ” ill ” or ” not well ” something that conveys a true testament to the condition of the body. Another example of this word shit being use incorrectly is with regards to food. How often does one describe the taste of something as being a close cousin to shit? I have had and going on over sixty six thousand meals over a number of years and not once have I eaten anything that tastes like shit. I have yet to eat any shit over these last number of years, but, I am very, very sure nothing I have eaten taste like the waste my body has made. There are certain foods that may be similar in texture or color but nothing taste like shit other than shit. ” This taste like shit. Only those who have eaten shit can make that remark. ” Looks like shit ” The only shit that looks like shit is shit. How often have those words been spoken?” Hey, Frank, your hair cut looks like shit.” How can a hair cut look like shit? Hair is hair. Hair can never look like shit, unless one applies a pile of shit on one’s head and some how recreates this pile of shit to look like hair, that now looks like shit but is in fact shit. If your head has a pile of shit on it and it looks like hair that is in fact a pile of shit, then one can say ” Hey Frank, your hair cut looks like shit.” Another prime example of an incorrect use. ” Runs like shit ” I have seen many a man run. A dog or two. Camels on the sand. A deer in the forest. A horse over a fence. A polar bear on the snow. But, I yet to witness shit run. I am sure some of you may have felt shit run. That may be during a difficult time when we find ourselves over loaded. I once remove the remains of a visit to the toilet, place these remains on the floor and nothing happened. Shit does not run. Ok, it does, but only in your pants. Another fine example. ” They play like shit ” If anyone has seen shit play or even pretend to play, please tape this and put it on the U Tube. This tape will set a new benchmark for most watched video. Nothing will ever come close. How often have you hear the phrase ” I don’t give a shit ” Wrong, wrong, so wrong. Each and every day, you do give a shit at least you should. Giving a shit is very good for the body. Besides it may lead to a job with the sanitation department. Work from home. Great hours. Just sit down and go to work. Please, lets stop the use of this word and its cousins. We are better than shit.

Harry. A home ruler. Another name for Henry. There have been and are a number of famous people named Harry. Harry Truman comes to mind. Harry Potter is another one. Lets not forget Prince Harry. Harry Sinden from the Canada versus Russia and the Boston Bruins. How about Harry Caray? Baseball’s great voice. That great singer, Harry Conic Jr. And another singer Harry Belafonte. But what if, some famous people were renamed with the first name Harry. Would Harry Butt be in that Corner Gas show? Would Harry Plumber be in the same company of the Sound of Music? Can you see Harry Pitt working with George Clooney? And here is coach’s corner with Harry Cherry on the CBC. Harry Shoemaker try’s to ride today. Harry Cox meets the Wolverine. Harry Woods cannot fine the fairway. Harry Bush is president? And tonight’s special quest from Miami Vice, Harry Johnson. Harry, Harry, Bond. It’s first and ten, Harry Moon gets under centre. Perhaps, it should have been, OHH, What a Harry Man He Was? Would Harry Butler still try to sweep Scarlet off her feet? Would Harry Data be on the deck of the Enterprise? Lord of the Rings needs a Harry Mary. SCTV, is proud to introduce Harry Candy. Would you ride the science highway with a Harry Suzuki? Please, I beg of those reading this to think very hard about the name your child will carry. Your child may become famous or become evil or somewhere in the middle because of the handle he or she will bear. Would Cool Breeze be playing QB for the saints? Tommy Gun is way out of line. Rocket Mann is also bad. Monty Carlo will not play golf. A Ford Pinto will not drive. If you wish to hear a story,please visit the intergoogle and find Chris Botti and Lucia Micarelli performing ” Emmanuel ”

TBC

Did you get your job by licking stamps? Why are there buttons on coat sleeves? Can you get hash oil from tar sands? Is paradigm a poker term? Why are rolling papas water proof? Should ” Nice and Easy ” be a new condom Brand? Can you really Rock the Casbah? If no one voted, would there be a government? Is motif, Cagen for, many thieves? Does fecal , matter? Side burns, do they burn? Is, foe paw, French for, moral enemy of my dog? Is it more than common, that the third person in a crime show is the party with the smoking gun? Why do you have to stop at a drive thru? When you hear a sound bite, does it hurt? Are beer nuts, part of the crazy food group? If you are waiting in a hospital room,will you see a paradox? Is a clip joint a cheap place to find short joints? Is context, something you get from someone in prison? Are you three out five doctors? If you get a letter from a funeral home, is it for a layaway plan? If your grandmother has twins, do you have nuances? Does Xerox have a copy? If you fall into a French river, do you become Seine? Can you last thirty minutes? Does your fire extinguisher have cocaine in it? Does your Match Less 650 need a lighter? Are you Mr. Mow IT ALL? Are you feed by the tears are squirrels? Is sausage a food group? How much would the earth weigh without water?

Words without a face
Hard to translate

Words without a face
There should be pace

Words without a face
May bring disgrace

Words without a face
Like looking through lace

Words without a face
There should be a case

Words without a face
You wish you had a vase

Words without a face
You almost need a brace

Words without a face
It’s a different place

The word is love. Yes, love! I am becoming very tired of hearing this word. I am sad to report that, We have lost that loving meaning. I love my boat. No, you float in your boat. I love my shoes. No, you wear your shoes. I love this pizza. No, you eat your pizza. I love my dress. No, you wear your dress. I love this game. No, you watch this game. I love this joint. No, you smoke this joint. I love this car. No, you drive your car. I love these golf balls. No, you hit the golf balls. I have counted the number of times I have the hear the word love used today while watching TV and listening to the radio. Came to a grant total of eighty three. And of these, only seven involved the word love with regards to people and one with regards to a dog. Dare I type? No, I do not love my MGB. No, I do not love the pizza I eat. No, I do not love the haircut I got. No, I do not love the coffee I am drinking. No, I do not love playing nine ball. However! I love those who love me. And the word ubiguitous. Now go the U Tube and find ” I want to know what love is ” by Foreigner.

TBC

It all begins with the webmaster. In this case it begins with Jerome. The webmaster. My first blog is to thank Jerome for his work. So many years ago, Jerome created, Henry’s Old Parts Sale. Something, I could not then or now begin to figure out how to add the site to the intergoogle. There are not many who have the skill to do what Jerome can do on the intergoogle. With this in mind, my thanks to Jerome. For those who may read this and are looking for a webmaster to help in your quest, seek out Jerome. He is one of few. Once again my thanks Jerome. Stay tuned for another blog when I can learn to copy and paste. But for now, go to the U Tube and type in ” Rock the Casbah in Algeria ” Then turn it up to legal, within the limits of legal sound.

TBC